You gotta hand it to these mortals. They have figured out one statement that absolves them from blame in everything and anything they do or don’t do. “It’s not my fault”.
And surprisingly, it never is.
In the beginning it’s the parents’ fault, then it’s their friends’/spouse’s/ guy-on-the-street/dog-that- peed-on-the-sidewalk/the-blind-man-in- the-next-street etc etc etc’s fault. If that does not work it’s the Government’s fault who says it’s the fault of the not so friendly neighboring country’s fault, who says it’s the fault of the USA. (USA of course does not blame anybody it just puts its nose in the air and ignores everyone).
And then of course there’s me. I appear to be the quintessential punching bag for the world below. If you can’t find anyone to blame, it’s Mr God’s fault. Of course it is. I personally went and wrenched off the tap at Somebody’s house so that he could get late to office and get shouted at by his boss which made him scream at his wife which is why she left him
Coz that’s what I do. I spend all eternity scheming how to make everybody’s life down there a living hell.
That reminds me Lucifer called, he says it’s my fault that hell has space issues. Apparently if I had done my job well, people would not screw up so much and hence would be here with me and not sharing hell with him. He says I should spend more time showing people to be good.
Dude how can I? My time’s taken up wrenching off people’s taps! Remember?
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